Some Saturday Humor to make you laugh

A father was approached by his small son who told himproudly, "I know what the Bible means!"His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you'know' what the Bible means?The son replied, "I do know!""Okay," said his father. "What does theBible mean?""That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy repliedexcitedly," It stands for 'Basic Information BeforeLeaving Earth.'


=====


There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an oldfamily Bible to her brother in another part of the country."Is there anything breakable in here?" asked thepostal clerk."Only the Ten Commandments.." answered the lady.


========


"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of peoplein the world. There are those who wake up in the morning andsay, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those whowake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it'smorning."


========


A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a largecity because he was short of time and couldn't find aspace with a meter.Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read:"I have circled the block 10 times. If I don'tpark here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us ourtrespasses."When he returned, he found a citation from a police officeralong with this note "I've circled this block for10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose myjob. Lead us not into temptation."


========


There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday andannounced to his congregation: "I have good news andbad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay forour new building program. The bad news is, it's stillout there in your pockets."


========


While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to anAmish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had asense of humor, because attached to the back of thecarriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficientvehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step inexhaust."


========


A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question,"Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!"said the kindergarten boy."Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked."You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven..."


========


A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gasjust before a long holiday weekend. The attendant workedquickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally,the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump."Reverend," said the young man, "I'm sosorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits untilthe last minute to get ready for a long trip."The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It'sthe same in my business."


========


People want the front of the bus, the back of the church,and the center of attention.


========


Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughterwhat the lesson was about.The daughter answered, "Don't be scared,you'll get your quilt."Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day,the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him whatthat morning's Sunday school lesson was about.He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."


========


The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he wasgoing to ask the congregation to come up with more moneythan they were expecting for repairs to the churchbuilding. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that theregular organist was sick and a substitute had been broughtin at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what toplay."Here's a copy of the service," he saidimpatiently. "But, you'll have to think ofsomething to play after I make the announcement about thefinances."During the service, the minister paused and said,"Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; theroof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need$4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, pleasestand up."At that moment, the substitute organist played "TheStar Spangled Banner."And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!